prizes at the end of the hero's journey and had to stay home to wait for him, to give him something to fight for...wait, wait, wait...What?!! I love Joseph Campbell's work, but seriously?! Thankfully, both Mureen Murdock and Jean Houston disputed that and said not only YES, the woman does have her own journey very different from the Hero's journey but then went on to write many books, most notably for me, Mureen Murdock’s, The Heroine’s Journey. I am so grateful for the women who came before me that disputed the fact that women don't have their own journey and who took the time to research just what that is. While we don't need research to validate our experience, it can help to lanuguage and give voice to what may have been difficult to express. There are similarities between the hero and heroine’s journey like the road of trials, the ultimate award, etc. but the orientation of the Heroines journey is the redemption and repossession of the sacred feminine. It begins with the separation from the feminine and ends with wholeness (instead of a human male prize). And once she finds that wholeness, she then invites others to discover it within themselves, both male and female. She doesn’t hold wholeness as the sole right to one sex. The hero's journey is an extroverted journey, a going out into the world to prove oneself and come home with a prize (often the prizes in myths are women). The heroine's journey involves going within, finding, and winning the battle with the dark feminine, reclaiming her numinous expression of womanhood that is the Sacred/Divine Feminine. This mysterious numinous quality of divinity is found in her wholeness and is expressed very individually. It, her divinity, is fluid, strong, soft, vicious when tested, sensual and inexpressibly mysterious. I know some really incredible men who are redefining the Hero’s journey and are honoring their feminine nature by exploring their inner life in an attempt to reclaim their wholeness. Sacred femininity doesn’t have to be about which sex you are or the shape of your body. As a matter of fact, the awakening of our higher consciousness at some point dictates we surrender our identity. We may still function as the typical expression of male and female, but the internal experience of Self becomes more and more genderless as we enter into the mystery of Self.
Northeast Nebraska, surrounded by snow-covered landscapes that fueled my childhood adventures, the idea of this trip filled me with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. After all, I have been living in Lubbock, Texas for over 40 years and hadn’t faced a real winter in a long time and lacked proper winter gear. So I armed myself with my trusty water-resistant hiking boots and a few layers of warm clothing hastily assembled for the occasion. With my puffy jacket vacuum-sealed to maximize space, I set off for Japan, hoping I would not fall on my ass and embarrass myself or my daughter. My apprehension didn't melt away when I arrived in Hokkaido, Japan. Though I fell in love with the breathtaking beauty of the landscape, I still worried about the physical demands of the activities that awaited. The turning point came during a ski hiking tour. While I found it physically demanding, I also felt a surge of pride for even taking on the challenge. It was a realization that I could still tackle difficult tasks and find enjoyment in the experience. And yes, I fell three times and didn't die. But the real thrill, the real tidal wave arrived while driving a snowmobile! Wow!! I had no idea I loved winter sports and that I love speed! WowWee!! While I found parts of it downright scary going down the mountain on a narrow trail, most of the time I was ecstatic! It was SO fun driving that machine through the snow! I felt ALIVE! I realized I had to make a big change in life when I got back home. I’ve been working too hard and not playing enough. And who knows…maybe someday I’ll move where there is snow in the winter and come back and enjoy the heat of the Texas summer. A reverse snow-bird! When I got back home, I noticed the waves of Love were increasing. My intuition increased. My sense of smell increased. The energy moving through my body increased. A new level of Kundalini journey had begun. One day the ecstasy was so strong that I couldn’t stop laughing at how silly I had been. How silly my fear and lack of trust was. The little wave had turned into a tidal wave. And then I had to teach in an hour from the time it began! I was able to ground and release the experience to the transitory nature of life and knew that I was being prepared to touch a deeper wound to release to Love, and I was ready. The day passed in a grounded state of ecstasy. Present. Grounded. Expanded. And I awaited the new revelation of shadow that was asking to be embraced...which came and went pretty quickly.
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Last week, I introduced the ideas of empowerment and enforcement.
The pyscho-spiritual teachings of Dr. David R. Hawkins, author of Power vs. Force, was one of my most influential teachers. I started studying his teaching in 2005. Between 2006 and 2010 I had the pleasure and honor of attending around 14 or so all-day lectures and other events and learned so much about psycho-spiritual development, spiritual emergencies, and the dynamics of the human spirit from this brilliant and loving being. His teaching and advice helped me deeply engage in my self-inquiry and begin to purify my devotional practices. Dr. Hawkins Map of Consciousness is a guidepost for assessing if you are experiencing a state of power or force. He delineates force as states of Pride, Anger, Desire, Fear, Grief, Apathy, Guilt, and Shame. States of power are considered: Courage, Neutrality, Willingness, Acceptance, Reason, Love, and beyond. I wish I could say that every decision I made since studying and practicing were made from states of power, but alas, they were not, and could not have been. The profound journey of self-inquiry never ends and as we practice, we find hidden guilt, shame, and strong unmet needs. Until they are all brought to the light of the conscious mind, we will continue to make decisions rooted in states of force. Self-Inquiry is not an easy path and is not completed in one lifetime. It requires a fearless examination of our defense and protective mechanisms and a willingness to stop projecting them onto others and the world. Practitioners of inquiry eventually develop the willingness to find compassion and forgiveness for the parts of themselves that made decisions that inevitably led to suffering. As we cultivate this for ourselves, we can share more genuine compassion with others. As I continue the spiritual practice of becoming aware of and loving my ego back into wholeness, I still on occasion become aware of when I am dishonest by acting in ways others might want or expect, betraying my own needs to gain the approval of those I love or hide when I feel threatened. We all have conditioned behavioral and mental patterns that get triggered. These patterns are the way we attempted to be powerful by using force. We had mistakenly believed these forceful ways of controlling ourselves and others were the most powerful way we could solve our problems. But ultimately, in the long run, these forceful ways of trying to get our needs met create more discord, pain, suffering, and loss. Sometimes I notice myself speaking from the pride of my position or beliefs instead of reason, wisdom, or love. When I recognize this or any other disempowering pattern, I realize an old pattern has been triggered, that is all. Giving that part of myself love, I remind myself that I am learning, growing, and evolving being. Ever learning how to be more powerful in ways that create a more peaceful and productive existence. This is how I strengthen trusting the me that is learning, growing, and evolving over any old survival pattern. I offer this practice to you in hope that it will help you become a more sovereign, Self-Referred being as opposed to a fearfully triggered and Other-Referred being. If you want to be a sovereign being, look at what twists your mind and emotions into a knot. Are you in a frenzied state, excited fearful state? A hopeless, helpless, victim state? A righteous prideful state? Having a weapon, be it our mouths, our guns, or posting memes on social media to respond to someone else’s meme without actually having a respectful, information seeking conversation about the topic is not the answer for solving the growth challenges that face us as a nation or in our personal relationships. What makes us sovereign beings is to surrender our positionality about a subject, even for a moment to ask for more information to seek understanding and to find solutions that do not create even more unintended negative consequences. Being sovereign means, we have control over our own thinking and our own choices instead of being emotionally manipulated by our own fears. Being sovereign takes courage to face how we have allowed ourselves to be manipulated because we are trying to be important, safe, or right, or are trying to get our needs met or to be significant. When a need overrides our ability to listen and see deeply, we know we are in the process of being manipulated by our unconscious mind, be it individual or collective. The Solution? To start with, when you experience an emergency emotion or a defensive thought, Stop – Pause – Breathe – Be willing to know the truth no matter what the truth is. Ask for more information. Ask for support. For me, the most important spiritual practice is to want to know the truth no matter what it is. To be willing to be wrong. I think this is the greatest takeaway from Dr. Hawkin's teachings for me and I offer it to you for your own contemplation. All My Love, Elizabeth PS. If you are interested in learning how to be more powerful, I hope you will explore the works of Dr. Hawkins at www.veritaspub.com. I recommend three books to get started, Power vs. Force, Transcending the Levels of Consciousness, and The Discovery of the Presence of God. One of the biggest problems for children and teenagers of any age in the face of traumatic events will center on how they deal with their sense of fear and helplessness. The worst danger isn’t that children experience fear. The worst danger comes when fear is not recognized and accepted by a safe and secure caregiver. A child’s sense of fear, when it is unattended to by a caregiver, moves in the direction of terror. The child’s sense of helplessness, when unshared and unregulated by the caregiver moves in the direction of despair.
Unregulated fear and unregulated helplessness become overwhelming for children primarily because they don’t feel like they can be shared with someone who can take a protective and kind role in their lives. One major goal for families to consider in the time of crisis and disaster is for caregivers to develop a sense of clear direction and sound encouragement in offering themselves as a resource for the management of fear and powerlessness. Attachment research fully supports how valuable parents are in circumstances where it may appear that they themselves are without usefulness and value. An important thing for parents to remember that in a time of crisis they don't need to have all the answers, they need to be a source of comfort for their children. More than anyone else during a time of disaster, a child’s primary caregivers are the center of that child’s world and are the resource that can make all the difference. Offering predictable daily routines that a child can count on becomes a valuable resource, especially when these routines are sponsored by a trusted caregiver. Help children find examples of specific things, events, and people for which to be grateful for in the midst of great difficulty. Gratitude can be the one thing that helps a family focus on solutions during a crisis. During a time of crisis, children will be looking for the following capacities in their primary caregivers:
All my love in this time of crisis, Elizabeth Sabet March 22, 2020 IThis last week's podcast was a live call in show. Because the callers do not give written consent to have their information rebroadcast on YouTube to a potentially broader audience, I will not be making YouTube videos. I will instead be blogging about the topics discussed on the show and include the resources I listed in the podcasts in case you missed the show and are interested in the topic.
This week a caller talked about hearing voices and the somatic awareness of energy leaving her body every time she needed to modify her behavior with other people. She is diagnosed with schizophrenia and a host of other disorders. The basic definition of Schizophrenia (via Wikipedia) is: a mental illness characterized by relapsing episodes of psychosis. Major symptoms include hallucinations often hearing voices and delusions (having beliefs not shared by others). Other symptoms include disordered thinking, social withdrawal, decreased emotional expression, and lack of motivation. Symptoms typically come on gradually, begin in young adulthood, and in many cases never resolve. There is no objective diagnostic test; diagnosis is based on observed behavior, a history that includes the person's reported experiences, and reports of others familiar with the person. To be diagnosed with schizophrenia, symptoms and functional impairment need to be present for six months. Many people with schizophrenia have other mental disorders that may include an anxiety disorder such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depressive disorder, or a substance use disorder. After talking to this woman, it was apparent she had many of these symptoms. But as I continued visiting with her, she revealed more interesting experiences and sentiments that makes you question a lifelong prison sentence that these types of diagnoses create. This woman expressed a desire to help people, while having difficulty even interviewing for jobs because her energy sensitivities increase when being in public, she expressed wanting a dream job helping people with her gifts of vision. Having been dismissed as mentally ill with no other investigation as to what skills or gifts this person had and how they might be developed for their own and other's benefit, the self-esteem and self-image of this person were certainly low and underdeveloped. Instead of having a family member, friend, or mental health professional care enough to ask her what the voices where wanting to say and helping her cultivate the mental strength to work through some of the issues the voices brought forth, the potential for her psycho-spiritual development during her teenage and early adult years was delayed. I sincerely hope she contact the resources I gave her in the show. All is not lost, she may begin to work on strengthening her mind and find the support to find meaningful work and relationships. She was never given the opportunity to work on healing and mastering the uncomfortable energy sensitivities preventing her from engaging in public as she would like. She has visions, hears voices that offer uplifting and helpful advice, has a strong desire to be of service to prevent the suffering of others, receives helpful information from the visions and voices that helps her feel better and make healthier choices as opposed to the potentially co-dependent behavior she had been engaging in prior to hearing the voice or feeling the energy drain from her body. These experiences sound exactly like the experiences that so many mediums, spirit healers, shamans, and near-death experiences report. Many of the challenges she experiences are the same as well. There is a great opportunity for psycho-spiritual development and a fulfilling life, even with the most difficult of challenges experienced by this woman. It's very possible she might have been spared years of suffering had she been referred to the right educational and supportive resources and help. Hearing voices doesn't have to mean people necessarily have a mental health diagnosis. It could mean they are a medium, shaman, or healer. A person could be trained how to master the communication and even become a psychotherapist that uses after death communication in grief therapy. Believe it or not, there ARE psychotherapists who provide this service. The Brazilian mental health program has recognized over half the people in their mental hospitals are mediums and psychic. Once they are identified and trained, they return to normal lives. If you or someone you know hears voices and needs support you can contact The Hearing Voices Network, or The American Spiritist Society. Listen to Elanor Longden talk about her experience with hearing voices and her journey to healing in this Ted Talk. You can find therapists certified by the American Center for the Integration of Spiritually Transformative Experiences www.aciste.org that have been trained to work with people who have had these types of experiences that will not pathologize them and help people be with and work through the material coming up in the experiences and challenges, while still providing access to medications as they are needed. If you are a mental health professional, or are a mental health client and would like to educate your mental health professional about these issues, you may want to download ACISTE's Competency Guideline for Professionals and give it to your therapist. This is a complex topic that requires a thorough examination of body, soul, and spirit to discover what developmental tasks, and any psychological and physical needs may arising for the individual. When we pathologize and dismiss people with these types of experiences, we are devaluing their life, their very existence. We become part of a system that perpetuates illness and disease instead of supporting healing and wholeness. We could instead be courageous enough to look at these experiences from a perspective that allows for an expanded examination of the possibilities for health and well being. So often we try to silence symptoms without truly examining the source. Hippocrates said we must look at the whole person, even to examine their dreams to thoroughly treat a patient. It seems that the modern mental health system has forgotten the whole person. Material reductionist theory has taken over our mental health system and turned us all into simple machines made of neuropeptides, hormones, and neurotransmitters. If it were only that simple. If your mental health professional won't work with you as a whole person, there are those out there that will, and their numbers are growing. I am certainly not anti-medication when it is helpful, but the question is first, are we medicating people with harmful antipsychotics without examining the internal cause for any apparent dysfunction? Are these people even dysfunctional? Can they be trained to master these voices and integrate them into their own personality development or use them to serve others? I have talked to people all over the world who were medicated for depression without ever having been asked by their psychiatrist, "Why do you think you are depressed?" I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. How is it possible for someone to go through years of medical school and to become so trained out of the fact they are working with a living, breathing soul who has emotional needs? I am glad to see the tides changing. But there is still SO much more work to do to get the word out there to people who suffer that there may be alternative medication and there are other ways to work with these experiences. All My Love, Elizabeth Growing up, I never could understand the concept of grace. I didn't understand what I was supposed to feel if I were in a state of grace. It was such an ephemeral concept and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I was in my early 40's when I finally understood.
I learned about grace in the worst of times. It was during a time when I was afraid of losing everything that was important to me. My relationship with my children, house, and my money. It was a very scary time. It was August 8, 2008. 8-8-8. I was driving to Albuquerque when my angel said, "You can no longer live by readings, its time for you to live by grace." I must tell you, I freaked. Being highly intuitive my whole life I read the energies around me. I could read them 6 months to two years in advance to know what was coming, but during this time, I couldn't feel a thing. It was as if someone turned off my antenna. For two weeks I couldn't feel a thing. And, I sure didn't understand grace. I took a walk in the park to clear my head one particularly hard day and told God, "You are going to have to show me what grace is because I don't understand what you are talking about!" The next thing I knew I had a mystical experience right there in the park. God showed me a clear tube surrounding me that went into the ground about a foot or so and went up into the sky as far as I could see. God said, "Bring your children, house, and bank account to me," and directed me to the center of my chest. God was with me, in me, all around me. The Presence was was so strong that as I brought all those things into my center and gave them to the Light, one by one, they were taken up. My heart and mind were no longer racing. There was a sense of peace and tranquility I had only known a few times prior to this. A deep, abiding peace filled my entire being. I finished my walk and faced what needed to be faced. The emotional and mental strength and courage I needed to have a difficult conversation with my ex-husband arose out of nowhere, so I had the conversation, and waited. Within a few days the issue was resolved. I had to have the courage to accept grace and in return, I was gifted with more courage. There are times in our life where all the grace in the world cannot change a circumstance. It is in the darkest of times when the change we want is not possible, these are the times we need to accept grace the most. It has been my experience that whenever I make a request of the light, the call is answered in some way. Asking for grace is asking for an experience of Divine Presence. Not knowing the outcome that Divine Presence will bring, is the biggest hurdle. When we are in pain or fear, it is hard to trust something as ephemeral as grace. But you will never know if you don't ask to know. To all my friends who may be facing dark and painful times, I pray grace for you, and will hold a space for you to receive the courage that grace brings. All My Love, Elizabeth Sabet The apparent apocalyptic geologic events, rising sea levels, fires, and political troubles, all have us feeling overwhelmed. It is easy in the face of such drastic change to feel overwhelmed, shut down, or even quit trying to make any kind of impact. The feeling of helplessness seems to be escalating all around us. As an intuitive and sensitive, I literally feel it all around me.
to The Great Shift, everyone has been waiting for it since before 2012 and ever since then, we have been waiting for it some more. It has finally arrived in 2020 and it is really kicking our individual and collective butts. There is a good reason for it too. It has become pretty obvious that the great unveiling of light doesn't always feel so light and fluffy. Most of the time it does, but when it doesn't, man, it's like running full force into a brick wall you didn't see coming. Many of us that have been talking about this for years have said, "Hey folks, its not all rainbows and butterflies." STOP spiritually bypassing your inner suffering. Stop bypassing or repressing your fears. The time to put our spiritual head in the sand is over and its time to start doing your inner work. Even if you have done your inner work, you may still be facing this time of transition with a sense of love, wonder and excitement, accentuated by moments of intense panic, fear, or grief.
We are all being asked to step into a new life. A life beyond our old past life or even this life traumas. We are being called to MOVE ON from the old control dramas and MOVE INTO the new exanded experiences calling to us. I personally have resisted this call like the plague because I could feel the magnitude of it, without seeing the details of the personal changes I could feel coming. It has been like walking blind folded, with PTSD. I found the key to this forward movement. I gave myself permission to decide what is important to me. To get very clear about what I want to do and then have the courage to make the plans. Sometimes those plans may not make sense to others, but I can't let them go. There is a voice inside of me that wants so badly to be expressed. There is a love inside of me that wants to radiate. But I have been in fear. I would start a project and then stop. I just couldn't figure out what was preventing me from being consistent about things that were so important until I felt deeply enough into the experience of it. There was a deep fear of being exposed and the fear I would be killed, or fail and have to sell everything I own to survive. The old past life experiences came back to haunt me like nothing had before. We are in a time of cleansing LIFETIMES of disempowerment! Of course it is horribly uncomfortable! The need to survive and be accepted by a tribe were arising out of the collective and my own cellular memory to be faced and it was TOUGH! But, I made a decision. If I was going to live, then I was going to live and love to a whole new level. My life, and I bet yours too, is calling you to a whole new level of being with what arises in you. So here is what I found is important to me: I want to spend more time with my family. So I planned the trips. I want a radio show again. So I am starting a Blog Talk radio show called Homo Spiritus starting next week. I want to teach people how to connect and be present with each other, so we can love each other to wholeness, to a whole new level! I want my coaching school to cater to people who want to ground the nature of Spirit into their own, and their client's daily lived reality. So I am starting over this Spring with new classes. I want to live in my home and enjoy my trees and rocks. So I am staying, even if it means I do one repair at a time instead of doing it all at once. I want my health back. So I am slowly adding new routines to support my health. But in my case, I am doing it all slowly. I am planning it one step at time and executing the plan in stages. If it takes me all year and into next, that is what it takes. This is a whole new way for me to move in the world. I used to have to get everything decided and done at once. I had to push through and forge ahead even if I didn't have all the plans or resources put together yet. The more I had to face that life hadn't quite turned out the way I had hoped over the last few years, the harder I pushed past my limits, and suffered the consequences. But no more. Now, my love will allow me to relax and trust Spirit to be here now, in the planning stage and in the smaller baby steps stages. My whole new way of loving is to relax, trust, love some more, take measured action, trust some more, and be open to new opportunities as they arise. Comment below and tell me what is your calling you to a whole new level of? How are you wanting to love to a whole new level? All my Love Elizabeth Sabet My winter break is almost over. While I did work some through the last three weeks, most of my time has been invested in enjoying the company of my daughter, son-in-love, and two precious grandsons. There is nothing so precious and fascinating as watching children grow and develop their own sense of self. Each in their own way, exploring and experimenting with the world, testing the limits, and working really hard to find a way around them!
In their innocent play, they demonstrate the ability to put forth effort towards what is important to them. They experiment with different techniques to get what they want. They delight in the simple accomplishment of each step, and then happily move on to the next without holding on to what they just accomplished. At the end of the day they are tired, a good tired. They are tired from living fully and out loud, unashamed. Not yet programmed to understand failure, they just move on to something else if what they want doesn't work out. Yes, maybe with a tear or two, but they do move on. Being with them these last three weeks has refreshed my soul and brought my attention back to the simplicity of effort. How lovely to be remembered how simple effort is when we don't hold on to the outcome. 4 Simple Lessons from My Grandchildren - The Adult Version 1. Do what is important. In adult terms, know what is important, prioritize your list, schedule your tasks on your calendar. Do them. 2. Experiment with different solutions. Do what works, forget the rest. 3. Enjoy and appreciate each step. It helps you stay present in the moment and strengthens your central nervous system. 4. Effort is worth it in the end. Even if you have to try again, get frustrated, and have to move on to another task, the accomplishment is worth it. Blessings for a wonderful week for simplicity! All My Love, Elizabeth Sabet Yes, we are in an intense and heavy time, all over the world right now. I know a handful of people who are not experiencing intense shifts in their lives right now, and even they are saddened and deeply concerned about the fires and destruction of life in Australia, and many other national and international concerns. It can all be very scary and concerning. Each of these world events and the intense experiences in our lives are always a call for love.
In my own life, I am facing a necessary home renovation I wasn't planning for, healing my body from a recent healing crisis, and dealing with the learning curves of running a new business in a new market. Last year was rough, my truths about myself and the world were tested. There was still a personal lesson to learn about how I prevent my own peace, and I am so grateful my spiritual helpers made sure I would not carry old baggage into the new era! But before the gratitude came, I had to be willing to face a couple of inner demons, be willing to focus on my goodness, and slow down to listen to my inner wisdom. I refused and rejected unkindness and manipulation. And most of all, learned how to trust my gut. This is the attitude that will help us all now, look upon the current world condition, or the personal challenges and shifts as a call to love and a call to wise inspired action. A call to pay attention to what had been ignored. A call to being dedicated to finding your place in the world and your special function in it. A call to have unconditional positive regard for yourself and others. To be dedicated to staying aligned to truth, beauty, and wisdom to help you face and reconstruct what was destroyed so that the false beliefs and images of yourself and the world that contributed to the destruction, have no part in the new. You are all so much stronger, intelligent, and beautiful than you can possibly know. Take time in quiet reflection and spiritual practice to access that beautiful you. No matter what you are facing in the reconstruction of your world, you do not do it alone. You have seen and unseen helpers with you at all times. You know who they are. They cannot do the work for you, but they are there to strengthen and support you while you do the heavy lifting of creating a new world. Please take care of yourselves during these tumultuous times. Please take time out to enjoy the simple aspects of life, and the people who love you. By staying focused on doing what is right in front of you right now, with love and courage, everything else will fall into place in its own right timing and order. All My Love, Elizabeth All the names of fellow pilgrims have been changed to protect their identity.
May 10 Journal Entry The Canadian ladies and I left Larrasaona early after having a light breakfast of café con leche and bread provided by the pension. It was pretty cold this morning, cold enough to see my breath. I wore my t-shirt, blue button up long sleeved hiking shirt, and my rain jacket, and was still cold for the first hour. When we stopped to take a break, I felt completely wet even though there was no rain. I had sweat so much, that the inside of my rain jacket had droplets of water on the inside when I took it off, and my clothes were soaked through with sweat. The afternoon weather was much nicer, and I eventually took off my jacket and shirt. They walk much faster than I do and I lost them, but that was O.K. I like walking alone during the day, it´s too hard to talk anyway, and I like to be lost in my thoughts and prayers. I brought The Course in Miracles daily lessons on cards with me so I could continue my practice while I’m here. I am doing the lessons, and I’m doing the best I can to intentionally practice walking meditation, so being alone is a blessing, although I do enjoy company in the evening. God, my feet and ankle hurt SO bad. I asked God to heal my blisters and trust it won’t be this bad the whole way. One of the blisters is under a toenail. I had no idea you could get a blister under a toenail. I have read so many different things about how to care for blisters, I am not sure which is the best way. Some say to not pierce and drain them, but to put gel pads and/or bandages over them. Some say to pierce it with a thread a needle, leaving the thread to help it drain, then put a bandage over it. I brought the needle, thread, and matches to sterilize the needle with me, and have been using the needle method which helps, but it still hurts like hell. I am going to stop at a pharmacy in Pamplona and pick up the gel pads and see if that helps any. Today I saw fields of sheep, cows, and horses. They all had bells around their necks! On the way into Pamplona I crossed a bridge built in the 1400´s. The villages I walked through today have buildings still in use that were built in the 1600 and 1700’s, they still look beautiful. The apartment buildings have wooden or iron porches around the windows. In the country they have flowers in all the windows and in the city, you see laundry hanging outside the windows between buildings, along with the window boxes full of flowers. The yellow arrows and seashell markers led me through people’s backyards, farms, and right between rows of grape vines in vineyards, and even through olive tree orchards. The Navarra region is famous for white asparagus. The rows of asparagus are covered with black plastic to keep them from the sun, which keeps them from turning green. You can see and feel the love and respect people have for the land and their work, the farms are all so neat and clean. I found out later today that some of the olive orchards are thousands of years old! Can you imagine that? The same trees have been producing olives for thousands of years?! The orchards I walked through were only hundreds of years old, but it still blows my mind. I stopped several times to rest and tend my feet. I bought some bread and cheese for lunch from a small truck that passes through the villages. A little delivery truck stops in the town square and honks its horn and people come out and get in line. Oh.My.God. The bread and wine here… Have I mentioned them yet? I have drunk wine poured straight out of a barrel into a clean wine bottle. I honestly haven’t had anything so good. I found out red wine helps with inflammation; thank goodness they serve it with every meal, lunch and supper. And the bread, off the truck or in a bar, it is the best by far. This is Basque country, so they speak mostly Basque, not Spanish. The signs are in Basque, sometimes Basque and Spanish. Ya, my English to Spanish book doesn’t cover Basque. I had to pee SO bad in one little village and there was NO ONE on the street. It wasn’t siesta, so I don’t know why no one was around, but they weren’t. I couldn’t find a public restroom or bar anywhere. Finally, I saw a man walking across the street. I flagged him down and used every word I knew in Spanish for bathroom, and he still didn’t know what I was saying. I finally held myself and bent over and said, “Tenga que orninar!” Which is, “I have to pee!” in Spanish again. The universal language of holding your crotch and bending over did it. He apologized profusely and led me to a public restroom that was not marked. God, I really almost peed my pants. I am going to have to start giving in and pee behind a tree somewhere. I have been an emotional wreck all day. Old memories of physical, emotional, and sexual traumas from the past have been rising, and I couldn’t stop the tears. I cried as I walked almost all day, sometimes quietly as people passed, sometimes outright sobbing. I brought my rosary with me. Even thought I haven’t been in the Catholic church for almost 2 decades, Mary is still a part of me. I took out my rosary and began to pray. That didn’t help. I just wept most of the day. Someone told me that there were 63,000 pilgrims on the Camino right now. I can walk for hours without seeing anyone, you would think I would see more people. But I am glad I don’t. This solitude is giving me an opportunity to let the tears flow. I don’t like it though. This is not why I came here. I came here to find freedom in myself, not to relive everything. I know Dr. Hawkins (Dr. David R. Hawkins, spiritual teacher) would tell me to welcome whatever comes up, so I am doing it. I knew this walk was going to be physically challenging, I did not know it was going to be so emotionally difficult. I heard another voice in the early afternoon; it was the voice of the Camino itself. Early in this morning’s walk, I heard the land speak to me, it said, “Let it all go, let us have it. That’s what this land is for. Leave it all here with us.” I didn’t want to pollute all this beauty with my emotional mess, but the land said, “No, this is what this land is here for. It is transmuted here. Isn’t this one of the most beautiful places you’ve seen?” “Yes,” I said. “It is.” “Then let it all come to us.” I must have been communicating with the elementals there. Today was physically excruciating as well. On the outskirts of Pamplona, I was shaking my fist at God, asking him why waking up had to be so damn hard. Screaming, crying, and shaking my fist at God…yep, how’s that for being spiritual? The same tiny voice that spoke to me in Madrid on my first night in Spain spoke to me again and said, “You need to lighten up!” “No shit!” I yelled back. “Would someone please tell me how?” The funny thing? No one paid any attention to me. It seems the locals are used to crying, hysterical pilgrims walking through their fields and cussing at God. When I got to Pamplona, I was in the worst shape yet. My ankle was in terrible pain. But even the pain couldn’t stop me from appreciating where I was walking. Pamplona, built in 75 BC by Pompey as a Roman military base, has withstood the test of time, wars, and different governing powers. Pamplona is astonishing to walk into. Even when you’re in pain. When you cross into the city you must cross over an original roman road and walk up to the city walls over a drawbridge. It was fascinating to realize that road was over two thousand years old. The Europeans I talk to are not in awe, they are used to very old buildings and roads, but wow, for me, it’s incredible to think about how many people have walked this path. The ancient part of the city, known as the old quarters, is the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. It´s like someone took a bunch of buildings, shook them like dice and just scattered them and let them stay where they fell. I was so in awe of the age and beauty of the buildings; that I lost my arrows. I got lost and my map did not help at all. When I asked for directions, I got different answers from different people. By this time, I was limping so badly people really were looking at me like I was crazy. I wandered around and found a small bar. They refilled my water bottle for me and let me use the bathroom and gave me directions I couldn’t follow. This place is maze. I wandered around some more, barely able to walk, and found another bar that was serving food. I was starving but couldn’t even eat my sandwich. It was delicious too. The sandwich had fish, eggs, lettuce, and tomatoes from heaven. So simple and so delicious. I was so tired I could only eat half of it, they didn’t have anything for me to take the rest of it with me, and I sure didn’t have anything to put it in. What a waste, my God, the food here is mostly amazing. The food at the first refugio for dinner was crazy greasy. Anyway, I digress... I finally saw a group of pilgrims and realized I had met them on the road the day before. They helped me get to the alburgue (another name for refugio). We stopped at a store along the way and I got a banana and two oranges. I asked God to get me a bottom bunk next to a bathroom so I wouldn’t have to walk far or climb up to a top bunk. Oh ya, God got me one alright, but I had to climb two flights of stairs to get to it. I'll be sure to be more specific in the future. Once I got up there, I realized there was a pay phone in the lobby. I could not stand the thought of going down there and having to walk up the stairs again. I miss the kids so much. I will try calling tomorrow. I put my backpack on the bed, took off my boots, laid down on the bed, and propped up my feet without taking a shower and washing my clothes. 16 grueling km today. But I made it to Pamplona. Mission accomplished. While the terrain was not as punishing today, and I could breathe better, the pain is awful. I stayed in bed for quite a while until I started shivering. I noticed that I was drenched in sweat and freezing cold. My clothes were completely soaked with sweat. Knowing I had to get out those wet clothes, I forced myself to get up and wash my clothes in the bathroom sink. I was too tired to take a shower so just washed up with a washcloth. I went to the little kitchen area that had a tea pot and hot plate and made myself a cup of tea and ate my banana and one orange. In the kitchen I meet a lovely young man, Ben. While he was making his soup on the hotplate, we visited about why we were on the Camino, a common question everyone asks everyone. He was born in Brazil but now lives in New Zealand. He’s 29 and believes he might be gay, but not sure. He is walking to find out one way or the other if he is. He looks a lot younger than 29, but who knows. Another man walked in the kitchen. He was over 6 feet tall, a very muscular, well built man and you could tell he had been crying. He didn't say much. He is an American soldier and is obviously in a lot of physical and emotional pain. OK, I get it...this is the place to let it out. Bless him... Ben is mailing back a bunch of things from his backpack to lighten his load. Perfume being one of them! He refused to send back his deodorant though. Most people don’t carry it around. He got me thinking…what can I leave behind and quit carrying around as I laugh to myself. Ya, I should really lighten my load! I had shampoo, conditioner, body soap, and something to wash my clothes with, face wash, moisturizer, hand sanitizer, deodorant, and sunscreen. Holy shit, what was I thinking, no wonder why the backpack weighed 25 lbs. Duh….I left everything there except my bar of body soap, sunscreen, and deodorant, I’m with Ben on that one. I will wash my clothes, face, and hair with the body soap and use the sunscreen for moisturizer. I also left one towel, one washcloth, hand sanitizer, (which I would later greatly regret) a set of tapes for my recorder, one Unity magazine of which I ripped out two articles to keep for inspiration, and my pajamas. I’ll sleep in my clean t-shirt and just get undressed in my sleeping bag. The remaining contents of my backpack are: One t-shirt and one pair of pants, (not including the ones I am wearing) one long sleeved hiking shirt, my hat, one towel, one washcloth, rain poncho, rain jacket, sandals for the end of the day, one bra, my disposable cotton travel panties from Tilley. I don't care how much they weigh, which is not much, but I am NOT walking around with my panties pinned to my backpack to dry. Hell to the no, as they say in West Texas. My mini tape recorder and two tapes. Extra boot strings, two for my boots and two to use as clotheslines at the end of my bunk, clothes pins, safety pins, suction cups with hooks to hang things up in the showers, 2 bandannas, and one extra pair of socks, one comb, 1 roll of toilet paper, this notebook, prescription sunglasses, my first aid kit and Course of Miracles lesson cards, of which I have decided to leave behind at each refugio on my bunk for the next person when I am done with each card. My fanny pack has my money, US passport, pilgrim’s passport, phrase book, sunscreen, a pen, my digital camera, grandma's cotton handkerchief, and the rosary my daughter gave me. This should make walking much easier! My feet and ankle still hurt like hell, but I am not ready to go home yet. OK, after walking 16 km to Pamplona, and God knows how long I wandered around before I found my fellow pilgrims, I think I have written quite enough. Oh, I have earned the nickname, Texas. Apparently, even with George Bush as president, which I am getting a lot of ribbing about, they still love Texas over here. When people find out I am from the US they say, "Oh Bush!" with a frown, and they they ask me where I am from in the US, and when they hear Texas, they invariably throw their arms open and say, "Texas!" with a big smile and give me a hug. Sweet baby Jesus, I'm glad I'm from Texas. I plan on walking to Estella tomorrow and stay there Sunday to take a day of rest. Buen Camino! Elizabeth Sabet I have overestimated just how much would fit into a weekly blog. This week's installment will only cover the first day of walking. May 9, 2006.
Journal Entry May 9, 2006 I left Roncesvalles early in the morning, about 6:30 a.m. I didn’t sleep all damn night. On top of still being scared silly, trying to sleep in that refugio was a waking nightmare. A cacophony of burping, farting, and snoring...My God. There were two men who snored in perfect rhythm, as one breathed in, the other breathed out. It was really ridiculously perfect timing. Like listening to an oompa loompa band. I don’t know how I will ever learn how to sleep with so many people in the same room. The energy of all these people in one room is hard enough to deal with, but the noise? Holy shit… I had a mystical visitation from my Grandma Gen in the middle of the night. I first noticed a hand on my back, rubbing it in a soft circular motion. And then I realized it was her! She used to rub my back that way when I was a small child to help me go to sleep. I felt so grateful and comforted! But then she said, “Todo cara Sweetheart, todo cara!” What the hell??!! Grandma doesn’t speak Spanish! Why would she speak Spanish to me?! Good God, can nothing be clear for me in the spirit realm? Why does everything have to be such a mystery? I am going to have to ask someone what that means. Oh ya, as I got off my bunk this morning, I cut my big toe on the metal bed frame and sliced it good. I got the bleeding stopped, put some antibiotic cream and a bandage on it and hoped to hell I wouldn’t get tetanus. I hadn’t even started and hurt my foot. I am sure I attracted it because of my fear. I walked for an hour and ate breakfast in Burgette. Burgette is only 3 km from Roncesvalles and it took an hour! The terrain is more difficult than I expected, but then again maybe I did expect this challenge, but being afraid of if and facing it, are two completely different things. I walked all day over the 2nd tallest mountain I will be crossing on this hike. It was physically excruciating and got my first blister before 10 a.m. I stopped at a stream to soak my feet and when I took my boot off my sock was soaked in blood, I had thought it was sweat. The cut on my toe had bled quite a bit but looked liked it had stopped. I rested, took care of my toe and blister and kept walking. The altitude is crazy high for someone who lives in the West Texas Flatlands. I was afraid breathing in high altitudes was going to be a problem, and I was right. I could hardly breathe all day. Going uphill I could not breathe, going downhill my toes hurt so bad I cried like a baby, and I walked up and down all day. At one point, I could only take 10 steps before I had to stop and catch my breath. The last of the day was just down, down,down and by the time I got to the refugio for the night, I had eight blisters! A French man and I kept passing each other today. He would be resting and I would pass him. Then I would be resting and he would pass me. On and on we passed each other. Finally he said, “I think we are playing the tortoise and the hare. You are the tortoise and I am the hare. You will make it my dear, you will make it!” Yep, I am the tortoise and probably will be to the end. (I never did see him again.) The discouragement today has been intense, even though I am sure my angels are with me, and I know for a fact Grandma is obviously with me, but still, the pain is crazy bad. I feel bad about being so discouraged on the first day, especially when everything is so beautiful. The mountains and the woods that I am walking through are so beautiful. I cried so much today. I want to do this so badly and I just don’t know that I’ll be able to finish. I want to fully enjoy this beauty but the pain is so fucking intense. I’ll just have to enjoy it the best I can while I am in pain and cry it out. The woods here reminds me a little of the woods in Minnesota where I grew up. In some areas the woods have the same kind of trees as Minnesota. And the flowers, oh my they are so beautiful and they are everywhere, little woodland flowers I haven't seen since I was a child. The woods are full of color. The little white, red, pink, yellow, and blue flowers are everywhere. Right before I got into the last town for the day, Zubiri, I was wishing I had a companion to walk with, and around the next corner were two french speaking ladies from Montreal, Canada. They were sitting on a bench that someone had made on the path. Someone had placed a lawn chair next to the bench and they invited me to sit down and share an orange with them. They were so lighthearted and fun, and visiting with them picked up my spirits immensely. The aunt was 61, the niece 52, and their humor was just what I needed. They carried plastic wine glasses with them and had bought a bottle of wine in France and were still carrying it with them. We walked to Zubiri together and laughed at how much pain we were all in. By the time we got to Zubiri my feet were in worse condition and my right ankle started hurting, badly. I was literally hobbling into Zubiri, and...there were no rooms left. Of course there were no rooms left on the first day of walking. At 5 pm none of us could walk the 5.5 km it would take to get to the next village, so we took a taxi to the next town. I was guilting myself about taking a taxi on the first day, but honest to God, I actually walked 22 km! Almost 17 miles!!!! WHAT?! No way! I had no idea I had walked that far over THOSE mountains. Ok, no more guilt. I amazed myself. 8 blisters, a cut on my foot and I walked 17 miles, in the Pyrenees mountains..Amazing! We got a taxi in Zubiri and made it to Larrasano in time to get a room at the Pension El Peregrino. We shared a room at the pension, which is more like a motel than a refugio. There are 6 rooms and two shared bathrooms, the cost? 16.00 euros compared to the 5 to 10 Euros of a regular refugio, but the refugio was full and we were lucky to get that. As I was taking care of my feet and talking to them about my concerns that I might not make it, the aunt said that after her first day, (they started in St. Jean Peid-de-Port, the highest mountain and the most demanding on the whole trip), she cried all night and said that was it, she was getting a bus the next morning and going home, but she got up the next morning and felt better and carried on and felt great. I felt so much better being around them, and it was good to know I wasn't the only cry baby! I will get up tomorrow and see what it’s like starting out with 8 blisters and see what happens. If I make it to Pamplona, I will be happy. Buen Camino! Elizabeth Sabet Lubbock, Texas to Roncesvalles, Spain
May 8 2006, the day had arrived. It was time for me to fly to Madrid from Lubbock, Texas to begin my journey. The airfare cost a whopping $52.84, round trip. I had so many unused credit card points that’s what it cost to transfer the points into miles…If anything validated this trip, that did it for me. And I needed all the validation I could find. No one supported this trip, not my family and most of my friends. Even if they supported me, they were all worried about my safety, and quite frankly, probably my sanity. I did after all weigh 285 lbs. and my backpack weighed 25 lbs. Walking over the Pyrenees mountains and the second most mountainous region in Europe did pose some health risks. But I was determined. Disapproval, fear, and health risks could go to hell. I was going. The Camino had been calling me for 5 years. It was very difficult to explain the inner calling, this inner drive, to walk over 500 miles in a foreign country by myself, led only by arrows painted on rocks, buildings, other markers, and my gut. I still have a hard time describing it. It didn’t feel like I was escaping my difficult divorce or running away from responsibility. It felt like I was running deeply to myself and to God in a way not supported by my day to day life. I was not spiritually bypassing grief, fear, and shame. That came after the Camino. I needed the space and freedom to allow all that this trip was representing to me at that time. There was a need to break free from what my life was expecting from me. I just couldn’t be the me I had created anymore and that was crazy because I LOVED most of my life. I had become everything I had wanted to become, a mother, a wife, a business owner, financially stable. Many years prior, my reference points for “me” began to blur into confusion. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was in a full blown spiritual emergence process and didn't know it. There was something more than the life I had created that wanted expression and it was impossible to know what that expression was without some me time. I knew that walking the Camino, being close to God, the land, and my inner self would give me answers I couldn’t find in my current life. I had already done the impossible. I walked away from everything I had co-created with my husband, everything that was important to me my whole life. I didn’t know then that the inexpressible desire was to be an emotionally, mentally, spiritually mature integrated person, to find support within myself for myself. I wanted to find the strength and courage to be me as I am without the need for validation and approval. I wanted to no longer be codependent and pulled into fear and self-loathing by every disapproving glance and dismissive statement by the people I loved the most. I just wanted to be me. The unique, intuitive, life-loving, people-loving, planet-loving, Divine-loving, adventurous spiritual sojourner that I Am. The things that made me the happiest made my husband uncomfortable and scared. What made him feel safe made me feel smothered and small. He had been through so much heartbreak because of the Iranian Revolution. He had been through a kind of heartbreak and bitter pain only immigrants from war torn countries can understand. He really is a kind and loving man. He helped homeless people off the streets and into jobs and apartments, fed the grieving and poor and took care of us with the greatest of generosity. But his losses affected him in ways that I had no way of being able to help with, and my childhood abuses were foreign to him. Because neither one of us knew how to communicate effectively beyond our inner wounds, and he refused therapy, I felt I had no other choice than to put parts of myself away on some inner shelf of my soul to make him happy. I went to therapy for a year when I was 27 but he wouldn't speak to me the rest of the day every time I went. Me getting healthier in myself seemed to upset him even more. When I occasionally did the things that made me sing, I would end up paying for it emotionally with his disapproval and then I would lash out at him with bitterness and unkindness for making me pay with his disapproval. It was a vicious cycle and a poor example of relationship for my children. After 20 years of marriage he said he didn't love me like he did when I was 18. He said he loved me a lot more then because I listened...Wow...I loved him so much more than when I was 18. I was far from a perfect wife and knew it, but that statement really did me in. Even then, he wouldn’t go to therapy and I knew I couldn't do another 20 years of what I had been doing. It was devastating. I felt the only options I had were suicide or divorce. I opted for suicide. After having gone through my parent’s divorce when I was 13, I just couldn’t put my girls through it. I thought a dead mother would be better than a divorced mother. Death, even accidental death (I was trying to figure how to make it look accidental) was natural, divorce is not. That is how desperate and unwell I was. But in the end, I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it to my children, and I couldn’t face God. By the time my husband was ready for therapy, I had already filed for divorce was just done. Completely done, and ready to face the unknown ahead of me and made my plane reservations for Spain. I had planned to be in Spain for two months and I was worried about being away from my children for two months with limited ability to contact them. Cell phones were not that advanced in 2006. It was still pre-iPhone! So, it made more sense to not take the cell phone and just use a long-distance phone card from a pay phone instead. I wasn’t sure what access I would have to computers and the internet. From what I had read, some villages may only have one or two phone lines per village much less have internet access back then. So, saying goodbye to the girls ages 14 and 21 was hard. Hard as it was, I was still completely compelled to take this walk across Spain. I craved solitude and the freedom to be myself without ridicule or fear from others. And what did I discover on the Camino? The self-ridicule and fear of life I had been harboring in my subconscious and projecting onto others. Sigh… Why has it taken 13 years to be able to write about this journey? That will be revealed in its fullness as I continue to write, but for now, I can say it took me 14 years to finish the inner journey that began in 2005 when I filed for divorce. Much has been integrated, much material of the subconscious has been brought to the light, digested, processed and is helping me heal literally lifetimes of karma and move into new realms of consciousness. Is there still more, of course there is more to come, there is always more. It feels like writing about this chapter of my life is the final integrative process that will bring about new opportunities, new levels of awareness, and new journeys. I can write because it is time. Madrid to Roncesvalles Journal Entry May 9, 2006 I arrived in Madrid on May 8th early evening. Just getting a taxi to the hotel was an adventure. The taxi driver didn’t seem to know where the hotel was and kept stopping to ask people on the street for directions (Just a reminder, 2006 was pre-Google Maps too.) Was he bullshitting me and taking me for a proverbial ride, or did he really not know? I was jet lagged and my intuition wasn’t kicking in and couldn’t tell. Once I got to the hotel I couldn’t sleep. I had to leave the hotel at 5 am to take the subway to the train station to get to Pamplona from which I would catch a bus to my starting point in Roncesvalles. Lying in bed trying to sleep I became absolutely terrified. Lying in a fetal position and sobbing I thought, “What was I thinking?!” I couldn’t walk 500 miles! I tried to learn Spanish but what I remembered was pathetic and certainly not enough to be conversational. Training for the Camino in West Texas was a joke. The West Texas Plains are FLAT. I walked, a lot, to break in my hiking boots. But nothing was going to prepare me for mountain hiking. I just knew I couldn't make my own way in the world and had decided I was going to wake up, fly home, get remarried to my husband and be a good little wife. A lilting female voice whispered in my ear and said, “Why don’t you get up in the morning, go to the train station and walk the Camino? You can decide when you finish if you want to go back to your husband.” Yes, I heard an audible voice. I had heard this voice once before during my divorce process. I had learned to trust it, so I cried myself to sleep, got up at 5 and made it to the subway. As I was sitting on the subway train I was still really scared. (The first of many miracles and wonders that happened for me on the Camino happened on that train.) The woman sitting directly across from me prayed for me, not audibly, but in her heart. It was quite obvious I was a pilgrim, I’m not sure if my fear was as obvious, but nevertheless, she prayed for me. I could feel the energy move from her heart into mine. I was instantly calmed and silently thanked her and God for the peace that passes understanding. (As I would learn the kindness of strangers is an indispensable necessity on the Camino.) I had a small Spanish to English phrase book I carried and used to buy my train ticket to Pamplona once I got to the train station. Pamplona…my God what a crazy, beautiful, interesting city it is. As I waited in the bus station café reading my guidebook, a handsome, young Moroccan man approached me wanting me to “go to his room.” I knew the Camino offers pilgrim’s a love affair if they want one but good God, I had not even started. “Come to my room while you are waiting for the bus,” he says. “You can put your backpack in the bus station locker,” he says. “Yah, right” I think. I can see the headline of tomorrow morning’s paper, “Stupid Pilgrim Dies in Seedy Hotel Room.” I politely declined until he finally took no for no. It seemed to be quite entertaining to all the other men in the bus station who just watched, grins on their faces, no doubt wondering if I would take the bait. The bus trip was beautiful. Beautiful wooded winding roads up the mountain. That short bus trip would take me 3 days to walk back to where I had just come from. The sun was shining when we left Pamplona but by the time we got to Roncesvalles, the sun was setting, and it was raining. I got to Roncesvalles in time for the pilgrim’s mass with 15 minutes to spare after I got my Credencial del Pilgrim, the pilgrim´s passport you must show at the refugio’s, hostels strictly for pilgrims (sometimes referred to as albergues) to get in, my walking stick, and my sea shell to put on my backpack to show that I am a pilgrim and not a tourist. It was gray and rainy when I got here and the 800 year old monastery at Roncesvalles is rather severe looking and imposing. This did not put me at ease. The roofs are made of mica and the walls are cut grey stone of some kind. For being such an austere looking place on the outside, the interior of the church’s woodwork was beautifully carved, and the stained-glass windows and stone columns and arches of the church were just stunning. The rest of the church was very simple. The pews were simple benches. Pilgrim´s mass at 8 pm was so beautiful, the mass was sung in Latin and it was breathtaking to hear. There were 3 priests that performed the mass but due to the acoustics it sounded like there were 20. An elderly man that had walked from St. John Pier de Port collapsed right between the pews. No one ran to his aid so I started moving in his direction and someone motioned me to leave him alone...how strange...I don't know how someone could just leave an old man laying on the floor. I wasn't sure if it was because it was against protocol to interrupt the mass or because they knew he would be OK, or what. But I can tell you it was very hard to leave him laying there. He did eventually get up and rejoin the mass and seemed to be relatively OK after mass. During mass tonight I had a vision. I went into some kind of altered state and saw myself in the basement of this place, or some other stone Catholic church with my arms chained over my head, being tortured by the Spanish Inquisition. I was eventually drawn and quartered. And then my awareness was back in the present time, following along with the mass. I was a bit stunned but my awareness bounced back right into normal awareness so fast I didn't have time to have much an emotional response to it. I was raised Catholic and quit going to church at the age of 23 when I couldn't find what I was looking for in my quest for a spiritual home after I had asked God to stop the conscious connection. (see the first blog in the series to learn more about that request). I instantly realized after I came out of this vision that this trip was going to create a reconciliation and forgiveness in my heart for the crimes of the church, past and present. As I write this none of it makes any sense. I guess I will see what happens next. The Refugio holds over 130 people in one massive room. The ceilings are 30 to 40 feet tall and giant wooden beams cover the ceiling. There is no heat and it is cold as shit, I wonder if this building is 8oo years old too. But there are very nice showers with hot water and modern toilets with doors. Even though the men and women are all sleeping in the same room the bathrooms are separate. (Which would not always be the case.) The bunk beds are pushed together. So I am sleeping right next to someone. Ugh…You certainly can tell who the Americans and British are and who the French and Germans are. Americans and Brits get dressed and undressed under the sleeping bag. French and Germans are running around in any stage of undress. Thank God my bunk is next to another woman….shit this is going to be interesting. I am already nervous around men. Shit. Getting up at 5 is going to be interesting. I hope I can get some damn sleep. I am already missing the girls and feeling lonely. Next week’s installment – Roncesvalles to Puente La Reina Buen Camino! Elizabeth Sabet
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“In empathetic listening you listen with your ears, but you also, and more importantly, listen with your eyes and with your heart. You listen for feeling, for meaning. You listen for behavior. You use your right brain as well as your left. You sense, you intuit, you feel”… “You have to open yourself up to be influenced”. Stephen Covey |
Empathetic listening takes active listening skills to a new level of effectiveness. In empathetic listening we are listening for what is being expressed, even if it is not being spoken. This form of deep listening develops trust between the coach and the client, and as Mr. Covey states, it requires you to be influenced. If you are holding onto an agenda for your coaching clients, you will not become an empathetic listener. You will miss the ques your clients give you that, if paid attention to, would help you support your clients in developing deeper awareness, identifying those deeply held underlying assumptions and beliefs that may be preventing them from obtaining what they really want. Empathetic listening helps you get to the root cause of obstacles faster and more accurately than listening on the surface of what is being expressed.
Listening patiently and with acceptance of the speakers statements and experiences, even when you disagree with what someone is saying, demonstrates acceptance and respect. You are not agreeing necessarily, you are acknowledging that you heard what the person said by articulating acknowledging statements. It is important to get a feel for what the speaker is expressing, while at the same time, staying mindful of the emotions and ideas being presented.
We encourage the speaker to continue and go deeper with what they are saying by interjecting neutral summations such as, "So you don't feel important in this relationship", or "You feel you would be happier in a different job", or "You feel scared when you have to make a decision about this." The neutral summation doesn't lead a person into an agenda you may be holding. It keeps the space open for them to respond to, and go deeper into their concerns.
There is a distinct difference between empathy and sympathy, and to become a masterful coach it is important to know the difference. Empathy feels “as” someone, and sympathy is feeling “for” someone. Sympathy pulls the listener into the client’s experience and joins with the disempowering energy and can even unknowingly collude with the client in their disempowering state by affirming any judging statements a client may make. It takes you down into their experience. Joining clients in sympathy does not give the client room to explore the issue more deeply, it simply keeps the client running in the same emotional circles without giving them the opportunity to discover an empowering way of being in the situation if it cannot change, as in the situation of death. If the situation can be transformed, staying in a sympathetic way of being with clients does not give them the opportunity to discover how to transform the situation.
Empathy, on the other hand, allows the listener to feel how the client is feeling, and stays outside the experience enough to be able to be present, create space, and give the client permission to talk about it if they want to. The empathetic listener can still feel the client’s emotions very deeply, yet does not get pulled down into the disempowering state with them. Empathy does not join in, or reinforce the disempowerment, it simply acknowledges the client’s emotions and experience, normalizes them, and then gives the client room to explore the issue more deeply. The coach does not agree with any judgement a client may make about people or situations in empathetic listening.
Empathetic listening keeps the speaker from becoming defensive. Empathetic listening does not include: asking direct questions, checking facts, or argue/attack what is being said. This is the time a coach builds trust and rapport with the client. This is not the time to ask direct questions, the time to test evidence and assumptions can be done at a later time in the conversation or even in a different session.
By employing empathetic listening skills as a coach you are learning more about a person and gaining information you can utilize at a later time. If the speaker says something that appears to be demanding more input, you simply repeat their statement, and add a question. Such as, "You say you feel unimportant in your job?" By repeating the statement as a question you will encourage the speaker to give you more in-depth information.
Your role as an empathetic listener is a supportive role. Your success as an empathetic listener is determined by the ability to utilize the information you receive from the conversation, and allow that information to develop or ripen into new information and deeper awareness for both yourself and the client.
Written by Elizabeth on July 31, 2016. Posted in Spiritual Coaching, Coaching, Spiritual Emergence
The need for trained coaches to work with people who have had spiritual emergence and emergency issues is increasing. Increased mainstream awareness of this psycho-spiritual development process is evidenced by one social media site on Facebook, The Shades of Awakening private group. In it’s first 8 months on Facebook, it attracted over 1800 members. In the last several years, new organizations dedicated to the treatment and support of the process of integration of these experiences have been developed all over the world.
Even though there are many wise and courageous professionals who have learned to utilize these experiences as life lessons and opportunities for deep healing and transformation, many spiritual experiencers are still afraid of going to mental health professionals for assistance. Experiencers are concerned about “getting medicated out of their experiences”, or being hospitalized when no other pathology other than the experience exists. Many experiencers seek help through spiritually oriented life coaches, when they can find them, because coaches do not diagnose conditions or prescribe medications.
Coaches who work with this vulnerable population must be specially trained to provide the support and education experiencers need to ensure the coach does no harm to the client. The transpersonal-transformational coaching model provides an effective way for the coach to get to the essence of an experience and empower the experiencer to develop understanding and meaning. Instead of invalidating a client’s experience and taking the risk of catapulting experiencers into a longer and darker process of integration than necessary, the method modeled in my blogs, and in the ITTC Spiritual Emergence coaching curriculum beginning in April 2017, can create powerful transformation for experiencers.
What is Spiritual Emergence and Emergency?
Let’s begin with the basics. First we must define what these experiences are and how they manifest. It is an event or a series of events, perhaps stirrings in the mind, which can potentially lead to the breakdown of a person’s current understanding and meaning of life. These paradigm shifts lead to transformative growth and greater psycho-spiritual health on the part of the individual. It is, “the movement of an individual to a more expanded way of being that involves enhanced emotional and psychosomatic health, greater freedom of personal choices, and a sense of deeper connection with other people, nature, and the cosmos” (Grof & Grof, 1990: 34)
Spiritual Emergence can occur when people start seeking or experiencing themselves beyond their own personal, societal, or familial identity. Many things can precipitate a spiritual emergence experience. A few possibilities are a major life change, illness, near death experiences, a devotional religious or spiritual practice, drug induced experiences, or an out-of-body experience, just to name a few. However, there are cases in which there was no apparent precipitating cause. This has been discovered to be true in many other studies of the topic. Clearly, it can happen to anyone at any time for unknown reasons. SE is no respecter of religion, culture, race, age, gender, education, or socio-economic status.
How Does Spiritual Emergence/Emergency Present?
While it is possible to diagnose up to 50 types of emergence experiences for the coaching process, we will look at the work of Dr. Stansilov Grof and his wife Christina, who have identified 10 states of spiritual emergency (Grof, S., & Grof, C. (1989). From these basic 10 types we can develop an understanding of the essence of most experiences:
- Ego-Death/Dark Night of the Soul
- There is a dissolution of the self and a consequent loss of reference points. Symptoms may involve feelings of pressure, claustrophobia, oppression, tightness, restlessness, or struggle, or an unbearable endless repetition of “dying” experiences.
- The Awakening of the Kundalini Energy
- Some symptoms are tremors of energy rising up the spine, sensations of extreme hot and cold, the experience of flashing lights, and experiencing powerful waves of emotions. The body can move into strange yogic postures or become contorted and twisted if the energy becomes blocked.
- Shamanic Crisis
- This typically involves a quest or journey to the underworld where demons or animal spirits are often encountered, culminating usually in experiences of death, dismemberment, and annihilation.
- Episodes of Unitive Consciousness
- An experience of transcending the ordinary distinction between object and subject and experiencing ecstatic union with humanity, nature, the cosmos and God.
- Crisis of Psychic Opening
- This may involve channeling, telepathy, clairvoyance, out-of-body experiences and meaningful coincidences.
- Past Life Experiences
- People can behave irrationally because they are experiencing something from the past as part of their current life, or else a person can be haunted by physical feelings and emotions that are not seemingly connected to anything.
- Near Death Experiences
- These experiences often involve an unusual and profound shift in the experience of reality. This usually includes an out-of-body experience can involve profound lessons about life and universal laws.
- Possession States
- This is characterized by an uncanny sense that one’s body and psyche have been invaded and are being controlled by an alien energy or entity that has personal characteristics. It can be another type of Crisis of Psychic Opening.
- Psychological Renewal through the Central Archetype
- Some distinguishing features are themes of death and rebirth, battles of opposing cosmic forces (e.g. good and evil) and conviction that the outcomes are critical to the future of the world.
- Alien Contact/UFO Abduction
- Experiences of personally communicating with an alien life form or being abducted by an alien.
We need more caring, courageous, and educated coaches to work with this population. According to several research sources, over 30% of the population have spiritual experiences! That is a very large under served population! Think about it, you could be empowering so many people to integrate the wisdom gained from these experiences, engage in new passions and professions, and manifest their divine work in the world, now THAT is why I love coaching!
In my next blog in this series, I will talk about the what, how, and why of integration.
Stay tuned in and stay happy!
Elizabeth Sabet
I host a gathering at my house once a month as an activity of my non-profit organization HOPE, www.hopecommunity.us
(shameless plug), and this month's topic was love and compassion. We watched two TED talks about compassion and the difficulties or obstacles that stand in the way of choosing to be compassionate and then had community dialogue about each talk.
One of the talks was from Daniel Goleman. He stated that research shows we are born with a compassionate nature. We are actually hard wired in the brain for its expression. We can become desensitized to our own nature but the truth that we were all born with the desire to extend compassion gave me a lot of hope for humanity. With a little awareness we can regain our nature and begin to act from our true essence instead of the fear and overwhelm so prevalent in our lives. We can become as little children once again. Brave and wise little children.
A very interesting dialogue ensued that evening, revealing the frustrations and hopes I am sure we all experience when faced with human suffering. In the modern information age we hear about almost every act of injustice and tragedy in real time. And we don't just hear about it once, the news reporting and pictures and videos of an event are repeated over and over for days and even weeks. Being deluged with the suffering of others, both in our own communities and globally, even the idea of compassionate action can be overwhelming much less actually feeling like we can take meaningful action, especially if you are overwhelmed with your own suffering and struggles.
There has been enough research and evidence to support the benefits of compassion, both in thought and in action. Compassionate action helps solves problems, ameliorates suffering, and brings people together where before there was separation and misunderstanding. Compassion for others serves us with increased physical health, emotional and mental well-being, and healthier, balanced relationships.
And still, it can be hard to muster up the mental fortitude to make real efforts toward compassionate action.
Our community talk that night gave me some insight into some myths and misconceptions about compassion. Hopefully this insight will relieve some pressure you may experience about being compassionate and give you permission to take action no matter how small you might think it may be. To serve humanity with kindness is never small! Remember compassionate action can be as simple as a thought or a changed perspective.
MYTH #1
"Compassionate action is too time consuming for my busy life."
Compassion doesn't have to take a lot of time. It can be as simple as making different purchase choices at the grocery store or mall. It can be as simple as extending love, encouragement, or appreciation to someone who is sad or discouraged. Or perhaps finding help to empower you to slow down and simplify your life is the compassion you need to extend to yourself!
Empowering yourself to discover and change those lifestyle habits that are creating a life that is overwhelming will help you live a more balanced life. Living a more balanced life frees up mental and physical energy. More mental and physical energy empowers you develop a peaceful mind. Peaceful minds create peaceful environments. Peaceful environments engender more effective problem solving and creativity. Effective problem solving and creativity can alleviate suffering. Alleviating suffering is compassionate!
MYTH #2
"I don't have enough resources to take action."
To give commensurate with your resources means you give knowing that when you give from your available stores you are doing the best you can with the current resources available. There is never a time when you can't do or give something. I was very fortunate to grow up with a mother that taught me true generosity. She always made some kind of treat for new families moving into the neighborhood, usually cookies, banana bread, etc. But when things were really tight, she made biscuits. She said, "It doesn't take much flour to make a few biscuits. We will always have enough to give a little." She gave without fear. She gave what she could. And those warm homemade biscuits brought warmth, comfort, and the promise of new friendship to many people.
One man's mother had even less than my mother, took this concept one step further. When she made tortillas she took a pinch of flour and spread it in a circle around an ant hill outside and said, "We always have enough to share with God's creatures." She gave knowing where her source came from, she gave without fear, she gave commensurate with her ability to give. This man reported they never went without. They always had enough.
We can learn from these humble women. When you give from your true spiritual essence, without fear, you will always be a blessing and always be blessed!
MYTH #3
"My small contribution can't possibly make a real difference."
While you may not have the task of ensuring coffee farmers in South America are getting a fair deal and are not being abused by drug cartels, or tackling the system that supports child slave labor in the coco fields of West Africa, it IS someone's task. And they need your support. They need the western world to vote with our monetary purchases for fair trade, for justice, and safe working conditions. These types of problems have many, many cogs that keep these current unjust systems in place. The biggest cog is our money. So your purchases and lifestyle choices are a LARGE part of the solution. You are being compassionate by supporting the work of those in the trenches and that is no small thing.
A smile and empathetic connection, encouragement, and appreciation could just save someone's life. Never underestimate the power of small kindnesses. Authentic connection and caring changes lives and there is no such thing as an insignificant or small life! Everyone is capable of creating beauty in the world if that capacity is nurtured. Be a nurturer of life!
MYTH #4
"Compassionate action is just a large grand gesture that feeds the givers ego."
Hmmm maybe........Daniel Goleman mentioned he had noticed as he was doing his taxes and reviewing his charitable contributions for the year he had a thought about how pleased one of his friends would be with him that he had given to a specific organization. He realized he received a "narcissistic hit" about his giving. He used this awareness to reign in his ego and revisit the good his ability to give would do for others and minimize his own egoic need.
Most all of us feel good when doing something compassionate or charitable, who doesn't? I mean, why would it make us feel bad? We may feel bad if we couldn't do more or change a person's circumstances but why would we not feel good about ourselves? While we all probably know people that "get off" on their good deeds and make sure others know all about them, we may also know others that just feel good about doing something good. Chances are you also know people who do many good things for others and never talk about them.
The question is, why would a few braggadocios individuals prevent you from taking compassionate action if you had the opportunity? Just as Daniel Goleman used his awareness to reign in his own ego, you can too. But if this is still an issue for you, ask yourself a question: Can I do this and keep a balanced ego; not deflating my ego because I can't do more and not inflating my ego because I took action? If the answer is yes, don't let an opportunity to shine some light into the world pass you by because you are afraid of ego! Use the opportunity as an exercise to master your own ego!
Much Love to All!
Elizabeth J. Sabet
www.elizabethjsabet.com
(shameless plug), and this month's topic was love and compassion. We watched two TED talks about compassion and the difficulties or obstacles that stand in the way of choosing to be compassionate and then had community dialogue about each talk.
One of the talks was from Daniel Goleman. He stated that research shows we are born with a compassionate nature. We are actually hard wired in the brain for its expression. We can become desensitized to our own nature but the truth that we were all born with the desire to extend compassion gave me a lot of hope for humanity. With a little awareness we can regain our nature and begin to act from our true essence instead of the fear and overwhelm so prevalent in our lives. We can become as little children once again. Brave and wise little children.
A very interesting dialogue ensued that evening, revealing the frustrations and hopes I am sure we all experience when faced with human suffering. In the modern information age we hear about almost every act of injustice and tragedy in real time. And we don't just hear about it once, the news reporting and pictures and videos of an event are repeated over and over for days and even weeks. Being deluged with the suffering of others, both in our own communities and globally, even the idea of compassionate action can be overwhelming much less actually feeling like we can take meaningful action, especially if you are overwhelmed with your own suffering and struggles.
There has been enough research and evidence to support the benefits of compassion, both in thought and in action. Compassionate action helps solves problems, ameliorates suffering, and brings people together where before there was separation and misunderstanding. Compassion for others serves us with increased physical health, emotional and mental well-being, and healthier, balanced relationships.
And still, it can be hard to muster up the mental fortitude to make real efforts toward compassionate action.
Our community talk that night gave me some insight into some myths and misconceptions about compassion. Hopefully this insight will relieve some pressure you may experience about being compassionate and give you permission to take action no matter how small you might think it may be. To serve humanity with kindness is never small! Remember compassionate action can be as simple as a thought or a changed perspective.
MYTH #1
"Compassionate action is too time consuming for my busy life."
Compassion doesn't have to take a lot of time. It can be as simple as making different purchase choices at the grocery store or mall. It can be as simple as extending love, encouragement, or appreciation to someone who is sad or discouraged. Or perhaps finding help to empower you to slow down and simplify your life is the compassion you need to extend to yourself!
Empowering yourself to discover and change those lifestyle habits that are creating a life that is overwhelming will help you live a more balanced life. Living a more balanced life frees up mental and physical energy. More mental and physical energy empowers you develop a peaceful mind. Peaceful minds create peaceful environments. Peaceful environments engender more effective problem solving and creativity. Effective problem solving and creativity can alleviate suffering. Alleviating suffering is compassionate!
MYTH #2
"I don't have enough resources to take action."
To give commensurate with your resources means you give knowing that when you give from your available stores you are doing the best you can with the current resources available. There is never a time when you can't do or give something. I was very fortunate to grow up with a mother that taught me true generosity. She always made some kind of treat for new families moving into the neighborhood, usually cookies, banana bread, etc. But when things were really tight, she made biscuits. She said, "It doesn't take much flour to make a few biscuits. We will always have enough to give a little." She gave without fear. She gave what she could. And those warm homemade biscuits brought warmth, comfort, and the promise of new friendship to many people.
One man's mother had even less than my mother, took this concept one step further. When she made tortillas she took a pinch of flour and spread it in a circle around an ant hill outside and said, "We always have enough to share with God's creatures." She gave knowing where her source came from, she gave without fear, she gave commensurate with her ability to give. This man reported they never went without. They always had enough.
We can learn from these humble women. When you give from your true spiritual essence, without fear, you will always be a blessing and always be blessed!
MYTH #3
"My small contribution can't possibly make a real difference."
While you may not have the task of ensuring coffee farmers in South America are getting a fair deal and are not being abused by drug cartels, or tackling the system that supports child slave labor in the coco fields of West Africa, it IS someone's task. And they need your support. They need the western world to vote with our monetary purchases for fair trade, for justice, and safe working conditions. These types of problems have many, many cogs that keep these current unjust systems in place. The biggest cog is our money. So your purchases and lifestyle choices are a LARGE part of the solution. You are being compassionate by supporting the work of those in the trenches and that is no small thing.
A smile and empathetic connection, encouragement, and appreciation could just save someone's life. Never underestimate the power of small kindnesses. Authentic connection and caring changes lives and there is no such thing as an insignificant or small life! Everyone is capable of creating beauty in the world if that capacity is nurtured. Be a nurturer of life!
MYTH #4
"Compassionate action is just a large grand gesture that feeds the givers ego."
Hmmm maybe........Daniel Goleman mentioned he had noticed as he was doing his taxes and reviewing his charitable contributions for the year he had a thought about how pleased one of his friends would be with him that he had given to a specific organization. He realized he received a "narcissistic hit" about his giving. He used this awareness to reign in his ego and revisit the good his ability to give would do for others and minimize his own egoic need.
Most all of us feel good when doing something compassionate or charitable, who doesn't? I mean, why would it make us feel bad? We may feel bad if we couldn't do more or change a person's circumstances but why would we not feel good about ourselves? While we all probably know people that "get off" on their good deeds and make sure others know all about them, we may also know others that just feel good about doing something good. Chances are you also know people who do many good things for others and never talk about them.
The question is, why would a few braggadocios individuals prevent you from taking compassionate action if you had the opportunity? Just as Daniel Goleman used his awareness to reign in his own ego, you can too. But if this is still an issue for you, ask yourself a question: Can I do this and keep a balanced ego; not deflating my ego because I can't do more and not inflating my ego because I took action? If the answer is yes, don't let an opportunity to shine some light into the world pass you by because you are afraid of ego! Use the opportunity as an exercise to master your own ego!
Much Love to All!
Elizabeth J. Sabet
www.elizabethjsabet.com
Spiritual masters teach all fear is an illusion and encourage us to cultivate the ability to walk past fear. Why? Because fear is the cause for all delay to a full awakening.
Fear is the root of all suffering. Fear of not having enough or not being enough is the cause of self-depreciation, shame, and unconscious guilt. Fear of not having enough or being enough can also lead to envy, which leads to greed and hatred of self and others. Fear of feeling your feelings is the cause of addiction. Fear of responsibility, or of making mistakes, or not having proper support and resources are the causes of laziness. Fear of being powerless is the cause of anger. Fear of not being recognized or approved of is the cause of afflictive pride and separation from others. Fear of having unsatisfied desires is the cause of lust.
Behind every fear you will find a lack of knowledge of who you are and a lack of love for yourself. If its true that love casts out fear and perfect love casts out fear perfectly, it stands to reason that the higher vibrational function of fear is to reveal your misunderstandings and to give you a road map of how you could best express love to yourself. Dr. David R. Hawkins frequently taught his students to recontexualize fear by simply being cautious and respectful of all life. This helps you move out of emergency emotions which leads you into higher vibrational states of being such as courage, acceptance, willingness, reason, and eventually to love.
You Cannot Master Fear, You Can Only Master Love
Fear originates in a mind that does not know itself and has misperceptions of both itself and of the world. You cannot master a misperception. If you try to master fear from the same level of mind that created it you will not master it, you will only increase the scope and effects of the misperception. A mind that loves is the only mind that can correct and then master fear. You must love the Truth, God, Beauty, Life, or some higher purpose other than your own current experience to discover the truth of your holiness and perfect function in creation.
If you can allow fear to be a teacher, you will discover much. If you become, angry, prideful, hurt, disappointed, jealous, experience insatiable desire, or any other form of fear ask yourself a few questions:
What do I believe this means about me or that person?
Is that a kind or helpful thing to believe about myself or this person?
What needs to shift in my thinking to take helpful action?
What support do I need to make this shift and action?
You can learn a great deal by using the experience of fear to discover what and who you think you are. You will discover how your thinking may have been either in part, or the entire reason, for your current experience. You will discover how you can demonstrate loving kindness to yourself and others. You will discover solutions you may have previously thought were impossible.
The lower function of fear is to keep you small and helpless. It maintains states of victimization and keeps you from your birthright to Divine Power. Again, examining the facts of the issue and applying reason will help you break the pattern and programming of assumed failure.
Using fear to retrain and reprogram your mind is powerful. You no longer allow fear to hide in your shadow self, you call it out into the light of your curious mind and discover what it can teach you. Using this information to creating lasting happiness requires change, change in the way you think, feel, and act. Following simple steps in retraining the mind to transform fear into love will go a long way in creating lasting happiness.
First, envision success. Use affirmations and visualizations to help you change the way you think and feel about the issue. Repeated use of affirmations and visualizations literally helps reprogram the old neural pathways in the brain that supported failure.
Second, be prepared to get discouraged along the way and have a plan to move past it as it arises. Everyone faces discouragement, disappointment, and setbacks as they go about the work of changing their lives. Reinforce the hope for a happier life experience by reminding yourself why you decided to make the changes in the first place and the benefits you will receive by making the changes.
Third, reinforce your original hope and make a written statement about why you are moving forward with the changes you are making. List all the benefits you think this change will bring to you. Enlist the help of trusted friends and advisers. Give them a copy of your list and ask them to review your plan and ask them if they see any areas you have not yet addressed.
Ask them if you can depend on them to empower you by lovingly holding you accountable to your plan and provide encouragement when you get down or should you lose your way. A positive support group of people who have a proven track record of having made wise decisions in their own life are an invaluable help to give you the hope you need when you need it most.
Fourth, no longer let anyone’s negative attitudes stop you. Not even your own!
Most importantly remember that you are a beautiful child of God, and as God’s creation you are entitled to inherit perfect peace. Seeking Divine Presence, in peaceful and in challenging times, builds a strong relationship with God. You will have a foundation of strength and hope from which to build a beautiful life.
www.elizabethjsabet.com
Fear is the root of all suffering. Fear of not having enough or not being enough is the cause of self-depreciation, shame, and unconscious guilt. Fear of not having enough or being enough can also lead to envy, which leads to greed and hatred of self and others. Fear of feeling your feelings is the cause of addiction. Fear of responsibility, or of making mistakes, or not having proper support and resources are the causes of laziness. Fear of being powerless is the cause of anger. Fear of not being recognized or approved of is the cause of afflictive pride and separation from others. Fear of having unsatisfied desires is the cause of lust.
Behind every fear you will find a lack of knowledge of who you are and a lack of love for yourself. If its true that love casts out fear and perfect love casts out fear perfectly, it stands to reason that the higher vibrational function of fear is to reveal your misunderstandings and to give you a road map of how you could best express love to yourself. Dr. David R. Hawkins frequently taught his students to recontexualize fear by simply being cautious and respectful of all life. This helps you move out of emergency emotions which leads you into higher vibrational states of being such as courage, acceptance, willingness, reason, and eventually to love.
You Cannot Master Fear, You Can Only Master Love
Fear originates in a mind that does not know itself and has misperceptions of both itself and of the world. You cannot master a misperception. If you try to master fear from the same level of mind that created it you will not master it, you will only increase the scope and effects of the misperception. A mind that loves is the only mind that can correct and then master fear. You must love the Truth, God, Beauty, Life, or some higher purpose other than your own current experience to discover the truth of your holiness and perfect function in creation.
If you can allow fear to be a teacher, you will discover much. If you become, angry, prideful, hurt, disappointed, jealous, experience insatiable desire, or any other form of fear ask yourself a few questions:
What do I believe this means about me or that person?
Is that a kind or helpful thing to believe about myself or this person?
What needs to shift in my thinking to take helpful action?
What support do I need to make this shift and action?
You can learn a great deal by using the experience of fear to discover what and who you think you are. You will discover how your thinking may have been either in part, or the entire reason, for your current experience. You will discover how you can demonstrate loving kindness to yourself and others. You will discover solutions you may have previously thought were impossible.
The lower function of fear is to keep you small and helpless. It maintains states of victimization and keeps you from your birthright to Divine Power. Again, examining the facts of the issue and applying reason will help you break the pattern and programming of assumed failure.
Using fear to retrain and reprogram your mind is powerful. You no longer allow fear to hide in your shadow self, you call it out into the light of your curious mind and discover what it can teach you. Using this information to creating lasting happiness requires change, change in the way you think, feel, and act. Following simple steps in retraining the mind to transform fear into love will go a long way in creating lasting happiness.
First, envision success. Use affirmations and visualizations to help you change the way you think and feel about the issue. Repeated use of affirmations and visualizations literally helps reprogram the old neural pathways in the brain that supported failure.
Second, be prepared to get discouraged along the way and have a plan to move past it as it arises. Everyone faces discouragement, disappointment, and setbacks as they go about the work of changing their lives. Reinforce the hope for a happier life experience by reminding yourself why you decided to make the changes in the first place and the benefits you will receive by making the changes.
Third, reinforce your original hope and make a written statement about why you are moving forward with the changes you are making. List all the benefits you think this change will bring to you. Enlist the help of trusted friends and advisers. Give them a copy of your list and ask them to review your plan and ask them if they see any areas you have not yet addressed.
Ask them if you can depend on them to empower you by lovingly holding you accountable to your plan and provide encouragement when you get down or should you lose your way. A positive support group of people who have a proven track record of having made wise decisions in their own life are an invaluable help to give you the hope you need when you need it most.
Fourth, no longer let anyone’s negative attitudes stop you. Not even your own!
Most importantly remember that you are a beautiful child of God, and as God’s creation you are entitled to inherit perfect peace. Seeking Divine Presence, in peaceful and in challenging times, builds a strong relationship with God. You will have a foundation of strength and hope from which to build a beautiful life.
www.elizabethjsabet.com
There are many sacred texts with the same message depicted in many different ways: YOU WERE CREATED by a power, a power more expanded and intelligent than this limited human experience.
Anyone who has ever had a non-linear experience of this power will tell you that this being, whatever it is, is All Knowing, All Encompassing, All Love.
If this is your creator and you believe you were created in the image of this creator, then you must have access to what the Creator Is. However, you must be willing to be open to the leading of Spirit to have access to the Knowingness, the Allness, the Lovingness.
By being willing to be Self reflective you open a space in your soul that allows your perceptions of the world and your place in it to be recontexualized. You will move from perceptions of who you are into a knowledge of what you are. As you begin to discover you are more than a limited being in a body and that you have a meaningful function as consciousness itself, you begin to integrate the beauty of your unique created expression of Divinity into 3D life as an individuation of this mysterious Allness.
Every person has innate talents and skills, a special function, they can gift the world with. By allowing Spirit to progressively reveal more of your true nature you will be able to move in the world in a way that makes your heart leap in appreciation for being alive!
Cultivating the experience and integration of Divinity requires an investment of your time and attention. Creating the Self-discipline to set aside 15 to 20 minutes once or twice a day in which you focus your attention on calling forth your Divine nature is the greatest investment you can make. Once you have enjoyed the conscious awareness of your own Divine nature, even if it is just a momentary glimpse, you will discover renewed hope, faith, and love beyond your wildest dreams.
You exist. You have a divine mind. You are meant to be the flowing beauty of creation. Live it!
www.elizabethjsabet.com
Anyone who has ever had a non-linear experience of this power will tell you that this being, whatever it is, is All Knowing, All Encompassing, All Love.
If this is your creator and you believe you were created in the image of this creator, then you must have access to what the Creator Is. However, you must be willing to be open to the leading of Spirit to have access to the Knowingness, the Allness, the Lovingness.
By being willing to be Self reflective you open a space in your soul that allows your perceptions of the world and your place in it to be recontexualized. You will move from perceptions of who you are into a knowledge of what you are. As you begin to discover you are more than a limited being in a body and that you have a meaningful function as consciousness itself, you begin to integrate the beauty of your unique created expression of Divinity into 3D life as an individuation of this mysterious Allness.
Every person has innate talents and skills, a special function, they can gift the world with. By allowing Spirit to progressively reveal more of your true nature you will be able to move in the world in a way that makes your heart leap in appreciation for being alive!
Cultivating the experience and integration of Divinity requires an investment of your time and attention. Creating the Self-discipline to set aside 15 to 20 minutes once or twice a day in which you focus your attention on calling forth your Divine nature is the greatest investment you can make. Once you have enjoyed the conscious awareness of your own Divine nature, even if it is just a momentary glimpse, you will discover renewed hope, faith, and love beyond your wildest dreams.
You exist. You have a divine mind. You are meant to be the flowing beauty of creation. Live it!
www.elizabethjsabet.com
I AM LOVE....It sounds so cliche, the word love has been bandied about so much it is almost meaningless, and yet, it is the truth. Expressing love requires you understand the many facets of love: Understanding, Appreciation, Loyalty to the Truth, Steadfastness, Willingness, Courage, Acceptance, and Trust are just a few of the many ways love is experienced and expressed.
To be loving you must find something to appreciate, even in the direst of situations or in the most distressing people. To be loving you must want to understand people, situations, and events. To be loving you must be loyal to Truth or put in a differently, loyal to anything that gives and supports a flourishing life. To be loving you must be steadfast in the face of disappointment and delay, for others, and for yourself. To be loving you must be willing, willing to do things differently if need be, and willing to be present. To be loving you must have courage to do what you are being called to do even when you are shaking in fear.
To be loving you must accept what has happened. Acceptance doesn't mean you don't take corrective action or allow injustice to continue, it just means you come to a place of acceptance that a thing has happened. When you can finally accept what has happened to you, you will free up the mental and emotional energy to help you accept responsibility for creating a life worth living beyond disappointment, delay, or grief. Once you have made the shift you will then have more mental clarity to move forward and take actions that will eventually help you create a new life experience.
To be loving you must Trust. You must trust your purpose and function, which of course is to FLOURISH and CREATE BEAUTY in your own unique way.
YOU ARE LOVE, BE LOVING, BE APPRECIATIVE, BE UNDERSTANDING, BE STEADFAST, BE WILLING, BE COURAGEOUS, BE ACCEPTING, BE TRUSTING!
To be loving you must find something to appreciate, even in the direst of situations or in the most distressing people. To be loving you must want to understand people, situations, and events. To be loving you must be loyal to Truth or put in a differently, loyal to anything that gives and supports a flourishing life. To be loving you must be steadfast in the face of disappointment and delay, for others, and for yourself. To be loving you must be willing, willing to do things differently if need be, and willing to be present. To be loving you must have courage to do what you are being called to do even when you are shaking in fear.
To be loving you must accept what has happened. Acceptance doesn't mean you don't take corrective action or allow injustice to continue, it just means you come to a place of acceptance that a thing has happened. When you can finally accept what has happened to you, you will free up the mental and emotional energy to help you accept responsibility for creating a life worth living beyond disappointment, delay, or grief. Once you have made the shift you will then have more mental clarity to move forward and take actions that will eventually help you create a new life experience.
To be loving you must Trust. You must trust your purpose and function, which of course is to FLOURISH and CREATE BEAUTY in your own unique way.
YOU ARE LOVE, BE LOVING, BE APPRECIATIVE, BE UNDERSTANDING, BE STEADFAST, BE WILLING, BE COURAGEOUS, BE ACCEPTING, BE TRUSTING!
To have a healthy identity means you understand WHAT you are more so than WHO you are. You are more than the protoplasm that makes up your physical bodies. You are more than the enculturated personas you think you are. Underneath the programming of your culture and experiences there is a quiet observer. This observer is connected to a broader experience than what your eyes see, ears hear, and mind and body experiences. Even beyond the observer there is more of what you are.
Each individual opens up to what they are as they are ready. This process can be likened to that of a flower unfolding from a bud; if you try to pry open the petals before its natural time you will destroy the beauty that could have fully blossomed. It will never blossom as fully and perfectly as it would have had it been left alone to its natural unfolding. One example of pushing for growth that could damage the flow of a harmonious experience of consciousness could be meditating for several hours a day without prior prepartion. In order to handle the new flow of information and transformational effects of extended meditation the mind must be prepared for the potential changes in awareness brought about by such a rigorous practice which would require years of preparation and tutelage.
Each individual opens up to what they are as they are ready. This process can be likened to that of a flower unfolding from a bud; if you try to pry open the petals before its natural time you will destroy the beauty that could have fully blossomed. It will never blossom as fully and perfectly as it would have had it been left alone to its natural unfolding. One example of pushing for growth that could damage the flow of a harmonious experience of consciousness could be meditating for several hours a day without prior prepartion. In order to handle the new flow of information and transformational effects of extended meditation the mind must be prepared for the potential changes in awareness brought about by such a rigorous practice which would require years of preparation and tutelage.
Be gentle with yourself and others. This perfect life is in us all and in its own time will make itself known to each, when the conditions are right in a person's life. As we come to accept the natural unfolding process of an expanding awareness and growing emotional maturity, we surrender resistance to what is in the moment and create an opening for the miraculous and unexpected to happen.
Make the way as gentle as possible for yourself and others by being kind, understanding, present, and good listeners. Set healthy boundaries because sometimes it is the healthy boundaries of others the help ripen the conditions to someone's unfolding and healing. Having the courage to say, "I am here for you, I am not abandoning you and I need you! I need you to care for me and demonstrate that care by____________." helps people get in touch with what is really important and may give the extra push to be courageous enough to show up for someone else OR courageous enough to show up for themselves and say, "NO, I can't or don't want to do that for you and I am ready for a change." This type of dialogue helps create authentic and organic changes that will lead to growth over a period of time.
Focusing on our own creativity and our own minds, being responsible for our own inner space creates the room for others to grow around us. As we become responsible for being life to the fullest and create room for others to do the same we are cultivating minds that can carry the fullness of life and extend that life to others. Create Joy! BE LIFE AS FULLY AS YOU CAN!
Make the way as gentle as possible for yourself and others by being kind, understanding, present, and good listeners. Set healthy boundaries because sometimes it is the healthy boundaries of others the help ripen the conditions to someone's unfolding and healing. Having the courage to say, "I am here for you, I am not abandoning you and I need you! I need you to care for me and demonstrate that care by____________." helps people get in touch with what is really important and may give the extra push to be courageous enough to show up for someone else OR courageous enough to show up for themselves and say, "NO, I can't or don't want to do that for you and I am ready for a change." This type of dialogue helps create authentic and organic changes that will lead to growth over a period of time.
Focusing on our own creativity and our own minds, being responsible for our own inner space creates the room for others to grow around us. As we become responsible for being life to the fullest and create room for others to do the same we are cultivating minds that can carry the fullness of life and extend that life to others. Create Joy! BE LIFE AS FULLY AS YOU CAN!
I haven't written my blog since the end of February. My little sister Ann made her transition from this life to the next on March 6 at the age of 45 and I haven't been able to write until now. Death of a loved one has a way of causing us to reevaluate our lives like nothing else does. Ann's passing and the story of our lives together is filled with love, tragedy, unfulfilled desire, and worst of all....the fear of life.
She had been ill for some time with an auto immune disorder that attacked her liver. She became addicted to the pain medication that had to take to help her cope with the illness and in my last conversation with her I asked her if she was afraid to live. She sounded surprised at the question but as we talked about life she realized that yes, she was afraid to live. For her, there was so much regret, disappointment, misunderstanding, lack of ability to communicate effectively, among other issues and life just seemed too big to tackle. She was afraid of participating in life at a level that requires self-examination, it was the guilt, frustration, and shame that lie underneath her hurt, anger, bitterness, and resentment that prevented her from reaching out before it was too late. Living fully would have required understanding and forgiveness, of herself and others. And sometimes the pain of showing up for that level of work can just be too much for people to bear.
Thank goodness in tragedy there is still comfort and opportunities for growth and new life. Ann is on her soul journey in a different realm now and her soul is being healed and educated. For everyone left behind we have been given an opportunity to reevaluate how we want to interact in our relationships, we are in the process of redefining what is important and what is imperative. We have been given the opportunity to reach out and connect with those we love with more authenticity and kindness than ever before. We have a new understanding of what it means to live up to our potential day by day, one step at a time, focused on the here and now.
In my profession as life coach, it is humbling to not be able to help those you love the most live life to the fullest. It is humbling and painful. At some point every person in a helping profession, and every person who is faced with the emotional and mental illness of those they love, must face the reality that they are not responsible for people's choices to show up for life. We are responsible for showing up ourselves, do our own inner work, be open, receptive, empathetic, and provide boundaries when needed, wisdom and guidance if asked for, and silent listening when not.
Helping people develop new understandings and focus to create new life experiences that support their happiness and joy continues to be my life work and will continue on. May there be peace for those whose pain of showing up is so profound they can only live half lives or cannot live life at all.
She had been ill for some time with an auto immune disorder that attacked her liver. She became addicted to the pain medication that had to take to help her cope with the illness and in my last conversation with her I asked her if she was afraid to live. She sounded surprised at the question but as we talked about life she realized that yes, she was afraid to live. For her, there was so much regret, disappointment, misunderstanding, lack of ability to communicate effectively, among other issues and life just seemed too big to tackle. She was afraid of participating in life at a level that requires self-examination, it was the guilt, frustration, and shame that lie underneath her hurt, anger, bitterness, and resentment that prevented her from reaching out before it was too late. Living fully would have required understanding and forgiveness, of herself and others. And sometimes the pain of showing up for that level of work can just be too much for people to bear.
Thank goodness in tragedy there is still comfort and opportunities for growth and new life. Ann is on her soul journey in a different realm now and her soul is being healed and educated. For everyone left behind we have been given an opportunity to reevaluate how we want to interact in our relationships, we are in the process of redefining what is important and what is imperative. We have been given the opportunity to reach out and connect with those we love with more authenticity and kindness than ever before. We have a new understanding of what it means to live up to our potential day by day, one step at a time, focused on the here and now.
In my profession as life coach, it is humbling to not be able to help those you love the most live life to the fullest. It is humbling and painful. At some point every person in a helping profession, and every person who is faced with the emotional and mental illness of those they love, must face the reality that they are not responsible for people's choices to show up for life. We are responsible for showing up ourselves, do our own inner work, be open, receptive, empathetic, and provide boundaries when needed, wisdom and guidance if asked for, and silent listening when not.
Helping people develop new understandings and focus to create new life experiences that support their happiness and joy continues to be my life work and will continue on. May there be peace for those whose pain of showing up is so profound they can only live half lives or cannot live life at all.
If your mother taught you that "Thoughts are Things", she is being proven right. Neuroscience, Neurocardiology, and Biophysics researchers (to name just a few disciplines) from around the world are finding evidence supporting the idea that the transference of information occurs in many different forms that go undetected by our conscious awareness.
Transference of information occurs chemically, electromagnetically, and biophotonically
(biophotons are tiny particles of light created by your body). Your heart, DNA, and brain send and receive signals that communicate within your own body and beyond, to the brains, hearts, and biophotonic fields of others.
With each thought, emotion, and action, we are communicating. And someone somewhere is picking up that signal. Your heart and brain are amazing instruments that pick up the electromagnetic impulse of thoughts coming from your MIND. They "read" the impulses and chemical markers and respond in creating neurotransmitters and hormones, some of them helpful, some not so helpful in maintaining optimal emotional, mental, and physical health.
In our SPEAK LIFE weekly practice we will be consciously directing WORDS and THOUGHTS OF LIFE towards specific life issues with the purpose and intent of accepting responsibility for the focus of our minds and emotions. Its true our realities are created and influenced by many factors and SPEAKING LIFE is just one factor however, your mind is the most powerful power on the planet and once you can cultivate your attention to focus, think, AND SPEAK LIFE, your mind can become the most powerful influence in your experiences. It is our ability to FOCUS that decides whether or not we receive the maximum benefits and opportunities that this life has to offer.
By FOCUSING ON LIFE and the NATURE OF LIFE we control what we ARE ABLE to control, our focus, attention, and responses. There are many things we cannot control, but we CAN control whether or not we FULLY PARTICIPATE IN LIFE to the best of our ability in any given situation we find ourselves in!
Transference of information occurs chemically, electromagnetically, and biophotonically
(biophotons are tiny particles of light created by your body). Your heart, DNA, and brain send and receive signals that communicate within your own body and beyond, to the brains, hearts, and biophotonic fields of others.
With each thought, emotion, and action, we are communicating. And someone somewhere is picking up that signal. Your heart and brain are amazing instruments that pick up the electromagnetic impulse of thoughts coming from your MIND. They "read" the impulses and chemical markers and respond in creating neurotransmitters and hormones, some of them helpful, some not so helpful in maintaining optimal emotional, mental, and physical health.
In our SPEAK LIFE weekly practice we will be consciously directing WORDS and THOUGHTS OF LIFE towards specific life issues with the purpose and intent of accepting responsibility for the focus of our minds and emotions. Its true our realities are created and influenced by many factors and SPEAKING LIFE is just one factor however, your mind is the most powerful power on the planet and once you can cultivate your attention to focus, think, AND SPEAK LIFE, your mind can become the most powerful influence in your experiences. It is our ability to FOCUS that decides whether or not we receive the maximum benefits and opportunities that this life has to offer.
By FOCUSING ON LIFE and the NATURE OF LIFE we control what we ARE ABLE to control, our focus, attention, and responses. There are many things we cannot control, but we CAN control whether or not we FULLY PARTICIPATE IN LIFE to the best of our ability in any given situation we find ourselves in!